ADHD Coaching for Women: Why I Finally Stopped Hiding From the Camera
I've been putting off this post the same way I put off the video underneath it. Not because I had nothing to say, but because saying it out loud meant being seen, and I'm launching ADHD Mama Life, my practice offering ADHD coaching for women and moms, precisely because I know what it costs to hide instead.
Here's the honest version. I ran a hair and makeup business for ten years. I had a team of thirteen artists I genuinely wanted to pay well and treat well, and the constant content machine that business required left me burnt out in a way that had nothing to do with laziness and everything to do with an energy exchange that never balanced. I put more in than I got back, over and over, until making content stopped feeling like marketing and started feeling like bleeding.
So when I say I've been dreading this, I mean it literally. I've tried other businesses since then, some that worked and some that didn't, and there's a specific flavor of fear that comes with trying yet again in public. But this one has been sitting with me for a long time, longer than any of the others, and I finally ran out of room to keep putting it off.
Why I Avoided This for For So Long
If you've ever built something you cared about and then watched the marketing side of it eat you alive, you already know this feeling. I spent a decade in the marketing world, including doing social media for other people's companies, which means I know exactly how this is supposed to work. I know the hooks, the captions, the posting cadence. None of that made it easier to point the camera at myself.
What I've learned, both from that burnout and from studying the ADHD brain, is that "you should know how to do this" is one of the most useless sentences a person can say to themselves. Knowing how something works and having the nervous system capacity to actually do it are two completely different things. That gap is where a lot of ADHD moms live, and it's where I lived for years before I had language for it.
The Kid Who Filed Papers During Snack Time
Some of this goes back further than the hair and makeup business. When I was a little girl, I was the kid who stayed in the classroom filing papers during snack time instead of going outside. I usually had one, two, maybe three close friends at a time, and I still felt left out even inside those friendships. I loved being on stage with my dance team, loved the group energy of it, but when I was asked to do a solo, I said yes and then quietly found reasons not to.
I was also the kid who led group projects and could present anything to anyone without blinking. Ask me to pull a talk out of thin air for a room of strangers and I'll do it standing up. That contradiction, comfortable on stage with a group, frozen alone in the spotlight, followed me straight into adulthood, and it's exactly what showed up again when I sat down to record this video.
“I can pull a presentation out of thin air without blinking. But being seen for something I actually care about? I'm just a girl, same as anyone else.
Performing Is Not the Same as Being Seen
This is the part I think a lot of ADHD women will recognize before I even finish explaining it. Performing feels safe because it's a role. You know your lines, you know the format, and if it goes sideways, it wasn't really you up there, it was the presentation. Being seen for something you genuinely care about doesn't come with that armor.
What I was describing to myself sounds a lot like rejection sensitive dysphoria, or RSD, which shows up constantly in ADHD women. The internal script goes something like this: you should know how to do this, it should be easy, you should succeed immediately. And underneath that, a quieter and meaner question: if I try and it doesn't work, if I fail again in public, what will people think of me? Nobody has actually said any of this to me. I made every bit of it up in my own head. But I know that voice is loud enough that plenty of you have heard your own version of it, which is exactly why I decided to say it out loud instead of keeping it to myself.
What ADHD Coaching for Women Actually Looks Like
Here's the part I've been building toward this whole time. I recently finished basic-level training in ADHD life coaching through ADDCA, widely considered one of the top schools in the field, and I'm now working toward my full certification through both ADDCA and PAAC. This is the stage where I build my practice hours, which means I need people to work with, which is a big part of why I'm putting myself out here at all.
The thing I keep coming back to, both in my own life and in the clients I've already worked with, is that we live in a deeply neurotypical-centered world. Most of the advice out there teaches you what not to do for your brain rather than what actually works with it. And every ADHD brain is different enough from the next one that a system built for your friend can fail you completely, not because you're doing it wrong, but because it was never built for you in the first place.
“We live in such a neurotypical-centered world, one that mostly teaches us what not to do for our ADHD brain. Every ADHD brain is so different from the next. What works for one person will not work for another.”
In 1:1 ADHD coaching, this is exactly what I support clients to do for themselves:
follow through on the things that matter to them
build home systems that actually hold up under an ADHD brain instead of collapsing by Wednesday
slowly strip away the self-judgment that builds up after years of trying tools that were never designed for how you think.
I support moms and women who are either diagnosed with ADHD or suspect they might be, and the goal isn't to make you more neurotypical. It's to help you build a life that actually fits the brain you have. You can read more about my training and how I got here on the Meet Kim page.
Going First
Somewhere in the middle of dreading this video, I realized something that changed my mind about posting it at all. If I say these fears out loud, if I actually share what showing up has cost me, some of you are going to recognize yourselves in it. And if that's true, then hiding doesn't protect anyone. It just leaves both of us alone with the same fear.
So this is me going first. Not because I have it figured out, not because the fear is gone, but because I know the kind of coach I am can genuinely help people, and the only way to reach them is to stop waiting until I feel ready. I'm Kim, I'm an ADHD life coach trained through ADDCA and currently working toward my certification through ADDCA and PAAC, and I support moms and women who are ready to remove the self-judgment and build a life that actually works for them. I'll be sharing as much of this process as I can, elevator pitch still in progress and all.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does an ADHD coach for moms actually do?
An ADHD coach works with you to build systems, habits, and follow-through strategies that fit your specific brain, rather than generic productivity advice. For moms specifically, that often means tackling executive dysfunction, time blindness, and the mental load of running a household, all in the context of a life that doesn't pause while you figure things out.
Is ADHD coaching the same as therapy?
No. Coaching focuses on building practical systems and moving toward goals you've set, while therapy addresses mental health treatment and often looks backward at root causes. ADHD coaching is not a substitute for therapy or medical care, and a good coach will always encourage you to seek clinical support when that's what you need.
Do I need an official ADHD diagnosis to work with an ADHD coach?
No. I work with moms and women who are formally diagnosed with ADHD as well as those who strongly suspect they have it and haven't pursued a diagnosis yet. What matters most is that the patterns feel familiar to you, not what's written on paper.
Is ADHD coaching for women different from general ADHD coaching?
It can be. ADHD often gets masked differently in women, and motherhood adds a layer of mental load and identity pressure that most generic ADHD advice doesn't account for. Coaching that's built specifically around ADHD and motherhood tends to meet women where they actually are instead of where a textbook assumes they are.
If any part of this felt familiar, the filing-papers-at-snack-time kid, the freeze before the solo, the running list of things you should already know how to do, I'd love to talk with you about what ADHD coaching for women could look like for you. You can book a free consultation anytime, no pressure, just a conversation. This is the first of many posts and videos as I build this out in the open, so I'm glad you're here for the start of it.
ADHD coaching is not a substitute for medical, psychiatric, or mental health treatment. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988.